Feeling Lost & Unsure?

When you feel like you’ve lost your power and forgotten who you are…

It’s time to commune with your own heart. 

The thing is, and the reason I believe many people get stuck here, is that you have to commune with your grief to begin this hero/heroine’s journey of reclaiming yourself and your power. And we don’t like feeling grief or admitting loss/failure/wrongness/making “bad” choices. 

So let’s start with this concept to chew on: there is no right, wrong, good, or bad. 

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense." -Rumi

There’s just life, and life gives you experiences, ususally involving other people, and you make decisions and choices based on your experiences, and these have consequences—some we like, some we don’t like. That gives us data. 

So what do we do with this data?

Some will use it to judge, blame, shame, punish, hate and torture themselves and/or others. They will get stuck in pain or fear or victimhood, stuck in an endless loop of the same emotions that batter them daily. This is one version of life. 

Others will analyze it and use it to course-correct by making different decisions and choices. Which bring about different life experiences with their own consequences. We either like them or not, and the cycle continues. Endlessly. This is a different version of life. 

To illustrate, you can read about the story of the Chinese farmer's take on life events- not good, not bad, just is. Or, here's a brief video of Alan Watts telling the story.

Back to the topic: Feeling Lost and Unsure of Yourself

We have to feel some, or a lot of, grief, and know that this is temporary, this will take us to the path of inner truth. Because you are not your grief. You are not the life experiences you have had, either. Who you are is deeper than that.

And now you’ve peeled the first layer. 

Do you need inspiration to go deeper? Read this blog about The Guesthouse, and then come back here to finish your quest!

Once you have processed your grief enough (Grief is not linear. You don’t have to process it ALL to move forward here, just enough to get yourself unstuck) to see more clearly through the windows to your soul, then it’s time to sort the beliefs and “truths” that remain.

In other words, question everything. 

You’re already doing an internal house cleaning with the grief, so why not question the thoughts that are running your life? More likely than not, you will discover that you have at least one that is outdated and no longer applies to your current life experience. 

When you decide to no longer live your life according to outdated beliefs about yourself and the way the world works, and consciously let those old “programs” go, you will find that you’ve created some inner spaciousness. 

Use this moment to catch your breath and breathe deeper.

Don’t be in a rush to fill the newly emptied space. Let yourself linger here, nobody’s keeper and nobody’s prisoner. Notice the inner freedom here. Perhaps the wicked rebelliousness of not letting the old paradigms control you anymore. Revel in it. That's the taste of your inner power coming back online. 

After a likely uncomfortable period of time, your nervous system will adjust to the “new normal” of allowing yourself to feel the nourishment of your own power seeping back into the dry soils of your inner landscape. #winning

But Who Am I Even?

You've done the work above to peel of the layers of who you are not, now it's time to reveal who you truly are.

Guess what? If you’re reading this, you’re probably an adult, which is good news: you are not only capable, but you are also the sole human responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. IE: the one person who has any business having power over your life. It’s yours. Own it. Govern it. Lead it to victory like only you know how. 

How do you know how?

Follow your bliss. 

What lights you up? Do that. 

What do you value? Live that. 

What do you stand for? Protect it. 

What do you yearn for? Let yourself pursue it already!

Show the world, and yourself, who you are by taking these steps above. If you think you'll like it but end up not liking It, don't do It again. That's your choice. With your conscious choice-making, you are curating your life experiences, and therefore beginning to define who you are, internally and externally. And, when your internal truth and the truth you show externally start to align.....whooo, watch out world! And by the way, the actions you take don’t have to be big and grandiose. They can be whatever is within your power at this moment. And here’s the thing to really grok: there’s more within your power in each moment than you give yourself credit for. Test It out.  

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If you're struggling with feeling lost, unsure of yourself, and powerless, reach out for help! I offer counseling as well as coaching, and a variety of holistic practices.

If you are feeling in dire need of help, call 911 or text the 27/7 crisis text line at 741-741